When I first met Kelly, she and her husband, Greg, were literally driving to the attorney’s office to sign their divorce papers when they decided to stop at my office!
They were ready to end their marriage of 14 years. For some time. . . years actually. . . neither had been happy. There had been attempts to change, but things always fell apart. It had been years since either Kelly or Greg felt good about their relationship.
Threats and yelling were an almost everyday thing. They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it. The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart. They had tried therapy, self-help books, seminars. But nothing seemed to make a difference.
It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle. They knew they needed to change things in their relationship…but they just didn’t know how.
I’m not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting, struggling and disappointment in a day. But, with what they learned in my office that day, they decided to put their impending divorce "on hold."
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their anniversary and "re-commitment" ceremony!
They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy, and add marital counseling to their practice… after the fact.
And, when they do offer marital counseling, they are, usually, applying outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
This is why the best marriage counselors see a success rate of only 20%. . . if a medical procedure was that risky. . . it would be outlawed!
I know from experience, because I too was frustrated with such a low rate of success. I sincerely desired to help my clients to save their marriages. But, the techniques and strategies I learned in school seemed to be making things worse!
Once I realized that "traditional" methods of marriage therapy don’t work, I determined to find and create strategies, techniques and methods that do work.
It led me to abandon much of the "old school" ideas about how to help troubled couples…and so should you!
Before you can begin your journey toward saving your marriage, you need to stop buying into The Four Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage.
The 4 Most Damaging Myths About Saving Your Marriage…
Teaching you how to communicate better, if your marriage is truly troubled, will only give you and your spouse the ability to fight more effectively!
In many cases, improving "communication skills" only creates more damage and accelerates the deterioration of the relationship.
What is helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another stage. I have created a unique path for each stage that resolves the crisis best.
You will learn how to determine exactly which stage of marriage crisis you are facing. After you do this, you are infinitely better prepared to move forward and begin the healing and progress.
When a marriage crisis is in full swing, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond. But, this does not mean that you can’t save your marriage!
You will learn how to use the negative energy in your relationship to turn your relationship around.
In my experience, many people procrastinate and hope that things will get "just work themselves out."
This rarely, if ever, happens. You already know that! That is the reason you are at this site. You are ready to take action!
If you do not take action, the negative momentum of the relationship moves against you and before you know it, the relationship is too far gone.
It is critical that you start the process of saving your marriage now. . . before things spiral into a place that is truly irreparable.
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying!
My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already "given up."
Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix.
I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change!
Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.) With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself.
Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option.
Eventually, He agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
I have witnessed relationships come back to life after affairs, bankruptcies, dishonesty, deception and mid-life crises,and just about any other roadblock.
Couple after couple have proven that it is possible to change a relationship and rescue, just about, any marriage from the edge of destruction.
These couples have not just avoided divorce. They have transformed the marriages into something wonderful. . . something better than they had dreamed possible.
Rather, the crisis builds slowly over time. One person is, usually, caught completely off-guard. . . not realizing there even was a problem. The other claims that he or she is tired of trying and trying. . . with no change. . . and has "given up." You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated. This leads to a…
Save The Marriage, Even If Only You Want To
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